As if Mona Lisa smiled, how tragic has been reached someone's heart about her? Sometimes I wonder that Mona Lisa got her true self to smile or just only a typical portrait had done for her. Life brings so much tragic and decieved. Living for your true self is so hard to decide. Life always contains so much unfaithfulness. The typical thing goes and passes as well as the typical person will follow. Sometimes it's too tough to live for self. Sometimes it's too unfair to follow duty. Obstacles has such a great bunch of craps on life's way. Luck and chances are also parts of road. Like Mona Lisa, in my memories and in heart I had found my true self as an typical girl who could be happy and smile with a warm sky surrounded. I have found that it was my dream. Life doesn't go like my way. I have learned to scarify my true self for my duty. So that's the way I have.
I used to believe that my duty is my heart. As long as I follow my heart, I will get my true achievement and my true self. Life gose with something else. On across road, I have to deciede and choose among my true self and my duty whereas I will regret about my choice forever. That nothing could save me excepts myself. I scarified my true self to continue my duty. As time, I found that I got so much hurt and depressed on the road I chose. Nothing could help me go back and change for. I have to continue my road and try to ignore my sorrow. "My sorrow will cause you sad" I dun think that these words can work on me. Definitely, I cause so much hurt when I try to share my feeling. I wish for something I dun have. I wish for something it is so easy to have. Family and house... these are so much accustomed for my mind and my heart. And now, I have found that those are very far and far meaning. I found that my soul was frozen and my heart was broken a part. I have to dig my tears inside and I have to dig my homesick inside. After those, I felt my heart is bleeding and never stop. I remind myself to be strong will and bold to face up with my duty. It seems to be such an internal tragedy.
1 comment:
Hi Jessica,
Your journal was very poetic and somewhat sad. Although I couldn't really understand exactly what you were trying to say specifically, it seems that duty has taken you from your real dreams. I hope that you can find a compromise between the two.
See you Monday.
Sue
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